I was born into a Christian family who were heavily involved in the Salvation Army, so, by default, music ran in my blood. My grandad was a brass player, my grandma a singer and pianist. My wonderful father (who is a very big part of where I am today) played the piano and my mother was a singer who dabbled in all sorts of instruments. Given my illustrious family musical background, it was inevitable that I would end up being a musician of sorts too.

In fact, I was playing the piano, the flute and singing as far back as I can remember – until my sixth school year, when the path was becoming broken. I was a sociable child and suspected of having Asperger’s at the age of six, though this came to nothing because it was – and still is – incredibly difficult to get a neurodivergent diagnosis as a girl. I was very loud, very chatty and heavily misunderstood. I didn’t understand social cues and had limited boundaries, so ended up being put on a table on my own. The teachers made me face the wall at the back of the classroom and I wasn’t allowed to speak because I was ‘disruptive’. This continued for the rest of my time at primary school.

But then I secured a place at a local girl’s grammar school. My time there started well, but quickly went downhill. I joined a group of friends who weren’t really my friends and began smoking, drinking and truanting. I was very bright, but I struggled with homework and found it difficult to concentrate in lessons.

I spent many of my teenage years trying to figure out who I was as a person. Outside of school, I attended church with my family, somewhere I would have expected to feel safe and looked after. But unfortunately that wasn’t the reality. I was teased and left out by the older boys at the youth club and when I turned 12 the bullying progressed to being taken advantage of.

Year 10 was when things started to get really bad. By then I’d become disconnected from school. I also suffered from low self-esteem and low confidence. I joined Tumblr, a social media blogging site, which only fuelled my dark thoughts. Tumblr was full of disturbing pictures of girls that were far too thin and with forearms covered in self harm.

This exposure contributed to my spiralling into a serious self-harm addiction. I also developed an eating disorder that almost put me in hospital. I was blissfully unaware of how ill I’d become.

In January 2011, at the age of 14, I attempted to take my own life. I had been hoarding paracetamol for weeks; the only thing that saved me was that I took so many, my body immediately rejected them.
Between the ages of 14 and 25 I was out of control. There are stories from then that still bring me to tears, they still haunt me today. I can’t cover all of them in this article, but everything that could go wrong did. I was bullied, sexually abused, addicted to alcohol and drugs, self-harming every day (something that needed regular medical attention), and I had eating disorders. But even when everything was going wrong, I had my love of music to fall back on.

In 2020, after years of working in kitchens and pubs, I finally found a job that for the first time I could see a future in. I stopped working evenings and unsociable hours and started a ‘regular’ job. The 9-5 had been my dream – or so I thought. After a year, I was given the promotion of a lifetime. But it broke me and I was signed off work for mental health reasons for the first time in my life. My return to the workplace was less than smooth. I was taken advantage of and pushed to breaking point. Things had to change!

Then I had a lightbulb moment. I realised I was passing up a number of opportunities in music. I had so much experience to draw from: I’d attended weekly lessons since I was six, working my way up all the grades, and I was classically trained by 21. I’d been in countless musicals, orchestras and choirs over the years too.

So, hoping to build a career in music, I started to teach. The ages of my students varied from six to 70 years old. This new venture encouraged me to learn more instruments including the clarinet, saxophone and oboe. I’m now a qualified musician with a level 4 diploma in singing, grade 8 flute, grade 6 piano, grade 5 clarinet, grade 5 music theory and grade 1 saxophone.

After a few years, I needed more and I wanted to be the one performing, so I applied to join the Royal Marines band service. I put my heart and soul into it; losing weight, building strength and practising music. Unfortunately, I was unsuccessful due to my history of mental health issues. I was devastated. But I didn’t give up.

My father Alan Yarrell started DJing in 2001 and as soon as I was old enough, I’d started accompanying him. I still remember his Numark twin CD players and his collection of CDs. I used to carry boxes and boxes into venues and would flick through his collection and pick out the next tracks.

Although living on the English Riviera in Torbay, my dad had contacts across the south coast and we were regularly DJing in Exeter and Exmouth, predominantly on party boats. Once I’d learnt to drive, I even did the occasional party on my own. I loved this part of my life.

When COVID-19 hit, my father was already thinking about retiring. So, in March 2022 I began a journey that culminated in my taking on the business full time – and it’s the best thing I’ve ever done.

Firstly, I stepped out of my comfort zone and took myself off to London, which helped me believe in my independence. When I returned, I visited my grandparents. And all of this lead me to start loving myself again; taking risks and enjoying living. In April, I finally took over my father’s DJ business and became my own boss.

I was both nervous and excited, but thankfully I had plenty of people to offer support. I met Paul Radmore (of Devon DJ) for dinner at a local pub – we’ve known each other since I was seven, as he’s a friend of my dad’s – and we both recalled that when I was younger I’d announced I would take over the business one day!

Paul’s help has played an important part in my journey. I’d followed his success with Devon DJ over the years and wanted to be part of his team. With Paul’s help and a lot of hard work, I’m happy to say that I’ve ditched that 9-5 job which really wasn’t giving me purpose in life! I’m now at the forefront and the face of the business and haven’t looked back.

Soon after meeting with Paul, I had an opportunity to attend one of his weddings. The night was a huge success and I was buzzing for more. His ways of handling a wedding and party were impressive and had everyone involved.

Feeling inspired, at my next function I applied some of the tips and tricks he’d shown me – and my shows suddenly went next level.

I currently use a Denon MC6000 mk2 with a pair of LD Mauis and a gig bar. When I'm out with Paul I get to use some amazing kit and love to use his Denon Prime 4, housed in ‘The Pod’. I quite often grab the microphone and join the dance floor, entertaining guests with live singing whilst Paul is on the decks mixing classic dance and trance anthems. I enjoy working alongside him and together we have so many plans. Paul comes up with crazy ideas and amazes me all the time.

It probably goes without saying, but I love DJing and I enjoy every party. I just love music! It’s my passion, it's what makes me smile. From classical to metal to rock to pop to all other walks of music – I love them all. My favourite moment is when you find the common music taste in the crowd. One of my favourite nights ever was DJing on a party boat for a group of Nigerian Christians with a crafted list of Afrobeats. The best thing about nights like that is that you play music that you probably would not play at every function.

Occasionally you do have a night when things do not go quite according to plan. You can be having a perfectly good party when a slightly drunk, rude customer visits the DJ booth. This sort of thing did set me back initially, but Paul reassured me that I wasn't the only one this happens to.

This year my confidence has been boosted and I thrive on the energy! Paul has taught me so many things and I’m on the way to being the best version of me and loving myself (I know there are those who think we are an item – I can lay those rumours to rest: we aren’t). I’ve quit smoking after 14 years and I’m finally getting the help I need for my mental health.

As I’m only at the beginning of the journey, there is still a lot of healing to do, but I am not the shell of a person I was anymore. I even recently got involved with a
community theatre project that aims to raise money and awareness for local charities by helping homeless people and drug addicts.

Telling my story brings with it powerful emotions, memories and hurt, but I don’t regret anything I’ve done. You need experiences to get you to where you are today, so I always see them as a good thing. My story continues on a much brighter path and I’m loving life.

The empowering truth is that support is out there. And I would like to thank those who have supported me with their positive messages, especially Alan Marshall with his inspirational walks, and Richard Lee from Mastermix for all the opportunities this year.

Now I can focus on the future and making positive changes. I’ll be attending as many DJ events as I can over the coming year, including BPM and the Pro Mobile Conference in 2023. You won’t miss me, as I'll be wearing my crazy suit jacket. So do stop me and say hi!